Another Queer Jewish Buddhist

Barilla Pasta, Oral Sex and Federico Fellini!

GIven the PR mess created by Guido Barilla, the CEO of Barilla Pasta with the broadcasting of his bigoted opinions about Lesbian and Gay couples it would be understandable if you thought he was a prude. You might be right. But remember, this is Italy, and looking back at the history of advertising for Barilla Pasta you'll be surprised to discover they made a TV commercial directed by Federico Fellini — centered around a joke about oral sex. Heterosexual oral sex, but still....

Obviously, since Fellini died in 1993, it must have been Guido Barilla's father (or grandfather) who had a more casual attitude about sexuality. But I think it would be good for Guido Barilla to learn from his elders and be more playful and relaxed.

Made in 1984, the spot is hardly an example of Fellini's best work as either a filmmaker or writer/director of TV commercials (yes, he wrote the spot as well as directed it). The spot opens on a couple in a very expensive restaurant. They are being sexually flirtatious with each other as the head waiter explains the menu to them. The woman requests rigatoni, which is used in Itlalian slang to refer to oral sex. And the response from the wait staff is that it will certainly stay al dente, or, uh, hard.

My suggestion to Mr. Barilla is that he remake this commercial — with a gay male couple. And then find the right pasta metaphor for a lesbian couple and make that too.

And yes, here's the spot:

 

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Barilla Chairman Comes Out As A Raging Homophobe, Urges Gays To Eat Another Pasta

Wake up and smell the coffee VS. Stop and smell the roses

New TV Spot for Glade mixes up the metaphors

A lovely new commercial for Glade begins with the copy: "No one says to wake up and touch, see, taste or hear the roses. They say to wake up and smell the roses."

Well, actually "they" don't. The idiomatic phrase is "Wake up and smell the coffee" and is used when someone needs to a jolt to snap them back into reality. When someone needs to pay attention to what's really going on.

The idiom "Stop and smell the roses" is about taking the time to appreciate life, taking a break from mindless busyness to experience life's simple pleasures.

The first time I saw this spot I loved it — and I still do love it. It's everything you want a commercial to be: it engages the senses and the emotions with a phrase, that even if mangled, is memorable and ties the benefit to the product.

Of course, the spot uses one of the great techniques of advertising copywriting: "tweaking the cliché." That is, taking an idiomatic expression and giving it a twist, so that the reader gets the pleasure of seeing the familiar from a new angle. George Felton gives an example in his excellent book on copywriting with a headline from an ad for Investor's Business Daily:

Opportunity is knocking.
Or is that just your knees?

These kinds of headlines are always popular with both copywriters and readers. And one could claim that the writer of the Glade spot was trying to use this technique by mashing the two idioms together. I don't think so — I think it's simply a mistake. However, it manages to work even if it's not quite right. And as any number of my colleagues will tell you, I just get all curmudgeonly when phrases or idioms aren't used correctly.

Here's the spot:

Beautiful, isn't it? It had me all the way through until it got to the product — because air fresheners like Glade actually make me sick to my stomach. The only thing that smells worse in this category is a scented candle (which is why I avoid whole sections of Bed, Bath & Beyond). Still, this spot got me. And I'm sure that people who are in the target sweet spot will be moved to consider Glade.

As it turns out, I think about the idiom "stop and smell the roses" every day. Why? Because I have a dog, and he reminds me as we walk through the park to simply enjoy things, to take time and appreciate how all the senses are delighted by nature. However, if you own a dog, you know that if they could speak our language, their version of the idiom would be another kind of tweak of the cliché:

Take time to stop and smell the roses.
Then pee on them.

And that's another reason why I love advertising copywriting. You can really play with words and phrases.

School bullying / Anti gay bullying and advertising:

I've been watching this Chrysler Town and Country commercial for months and every time I see it I am disturbed. It's clear the spot was directed so that the boy who jumps in his mother's van is running from a gang of boys who want to beat him up.

The voiceover suggests it's just a race home, though even in this challenge there is a note of menace.

You can see from the face of "Parker," the boy they are chasing, that he is running in fear.

What was the agency that made this thinking? It's bad enough that school teachers across the country turn a blind eye (or even participate) to bullying behavior. But for an ad agency, in this case, I believe it's Fallon since they're the agency of record for Chrysler, to run an ad which uses the situation to get attention (and entertain and sell) in the today's climate is irresponsible. Because while it's true this behavior is widespread, showing it in a commercial in this way normatizes it. Condones it, even as Parker manages to get away because of the hero product, and his clueless mom driving the Town and Country.

Chrysler should stop running this ad immediately. And both Chrysler and Fallon should be contributing serious money to organizations that combat the scourge of bullying and organizations that protect lgbt youth and youth at risk of bullying.

There has been enough written about this online for me to know now that I'm not the only person who sees this storyline. And some say that the voiceover track was changed from a more overt bullying situation. I wouldn't be surprised given the way the spot is directed. I would guess that the agency presented this to the client as an inexpensive fix to a bad mistake. Sorry guys, doesn't work. You ought to eat the cost, and reshoot a new spot. And pay for your mistake with support for bullied youth.

Take a look at the spot: do you see this the way I see it? And where the hell is GLAAD? After last week's awards to agencies for the good they do, why haven't they raised this as an issue?

 

Superbowl Exposed: The real reason they couldn't show a ManCrunch commercial...

Between the butt shots from below of the players, to the butt shots of the men in the Dockers Superbowl commercial, showing a spot for ManCrunch would expose just how truly homoerotic football is.

ManCrunch and Millions of Dollars of Free Advertising

Hey, I'm a gay man in the ad business. A single man, seriously looking to find a partner to settle down with. So I like to think I know what online dating services are out there — and whether they're any good or not. Except that last week I learned about ManCrunch — without them spending a dime on media advertising. That doesn't mean they weren't on the airwaves, or all over the net.

As just about all gay men who pay attention to media representation know, ManCrunch submitted a TV spot to CBS for the SuperBowl. They had to know it wouldn't be accepted. I doubt they even had the budget to run the spot even though the company claims they offered a cash payment. But the attendant media firestorm around the submission and turn down got the spot play on websites and cable TV comedy shows nationally.

This is a brilliant strategy of playing the media. And Reuters nails it in a story about ManCrunch and GoDaddy. Now if there were only a brilliant strategy to find a guy online for something serious. And believe me, I'm not looking for someone who wants to watch the Super Bowl with me. Unless it's to fast forward to the advertising.

Sunday Morning Cartoon: Tribute to Queer Cartoon Characters...

I may quibble with some of the choices, but this video montage in tribute to the queer characters in kid's TV shows and movies (and I would argue that some are not even for kids, really, but it's too much fun to argue) is just hilarious.

Is there money in advertising to the gay market? At least $1000

For all the talk about the gay market -- and by that I refer to the oft spoken of market of well to do and flush with disposable income gay male singles and couples -- there isn't really much advertising that speaks to this target with intelligence and respect. There isn't much that doesn't buy into demeaning objectification that we often take on ourselves. Well, I'm getting curmudgeonly, and I promised I'd only do that once today. Except that I need to note, as a queer copywriter/creative director, a contest that has been announced in Palm Springs by the Moxie Project to create advertising to attract lgbt tourism doesn't support the myth of gay men with money.

If all they can offer as a prize is $1000 for the best commercial, gay tourism in Palm Springs is in trouble. Well, maybe not, since it really doesn't need any advertising. Nevertheless, I am curious to see what kind of a brief they gave (and not the kind of brief that appears in the post below).

The Divine Feminine Meets 21st Century British Music Hall Rock & Roll Comedy

Easy now fuzzy little man peach, Old Greg is in the house. This is beyond description. If you've never seen The Might Boosh, or this particular episode, The Legend of Old Greg, you're in for a very wild ride that combines British music hall tradition comedy, rock & roll chaos comedy, the divine feminine and glitter rock plus funk and hallucinogenic insanity meeting the dark comedy of folktales. There, that was suitably incoherent. But I am not about to get into a scholarly deconstruction of something I love so much, it would only be vivisection, and Old Greg wouldn't like that at all. It's all here, and very very funny. I am only including parts 2-4. You can find it all on youtube of course, where you can also see a live version of the "hit single" from this episode, Love Games. Trust me, you want to see all three videos below. It will change your life forever.


Quick, make an assessment.

TheLast Generation — CBS sets phaser to stun and fires Star Trek web site staff

Informationweek reports that CBS has fired the entire production staff at StarTrek.com, a site which has operated for the past 13 years, housing news, features, images and video related to the original Star Trek series — not to mention the numerous movies, sequels and prequels it generated.

While I haven’t been a fan for years, I am really surprised to hear this. True, I don’t know the business case for keeping the site up — honestly half the time I can’t see the profitability model for most sites — but I know that Trekkies are a very dedicated bunch. And there is advertising on the site — not to mention promotions and sales for Star Trek ringtones.

Back in 1967 when NBC announced they were canceling the original show, tens of thousands of fans wrote in and saved it (I was one of them — a member of Vulcanian Enterprises, the NY Star Trek fan club and we generated a lot of letters). Next season NBC tried to cancel it again and the same thing happened.

The fan base is so devoted that they have become worthy of anthropological study. After all, this is a franchise that has been going strong now for 40 years. Over at Boing Boing they note that the show ihas become the subject of academic study — with a group of religious studies professors in Canada, Britain and the United States contributing essays to a scholarly book entitled Star Trek and Sacred Ground: Explorations of Star Trek, Religion, and American Culture. I would have never guessed back when I was 16 and going to my first SF Worldcon.

So will an email writing campaign save startrek.com? As a gay man angry with our invisibility on the show, I have to say at this point I don’t really care.

Sunday Morning Cartoon: Our Road of No Return / Anime Yaoi

Yet another reason why I love Japan. When I lived there, there were a couple of TV shows with queer characters. There was Stop Hibari Kun, about the cross dressing son of a yakuza and his crush on another boy in school. And Patariro, about an odd little king and his chief spy, who loves another male spy. Cartoons all. This however isn't the kind of comedy that those were -- this is real romance. Enjoy.