Another Queer Jewish Buddhist

The Peggy Noonan Problem

In the Wall Street Journal, the woman who put pretty words in the mealy mouth of a man who ignored tens of thousands of Americans dying in the 1980s (she was Reagan's speechwriter for those who don't remember), Peggy Noonan, has just written: 

But increasingly people feel at the mercy of the Adam Lamberts, who of course view themselves, when criticized, as victims of prudery and closed-mindedness. America is not prudish or closed-minded, it is exhausted. It cannot be exaggerated, how much Americans feel besieged by the culture of their own country, and to what lengths they have to go to protect their children from it.

I am sorry Ms. Noonan if you feel besieged. I would agree that there is much in the media that is crass, disgusting and hateful. Like Glenn Beck's racism for example. I don't notice you wasting any ink on him. 

If you want to talk about feeling besieged, ask all the lgbt people who were victims of hate crimes this last year. 

Please, spare me your mock outrage. 

I don't disagree that we could use more civility. Start on your side of the fence please. Thank you, and excuse me. 

My first copywriting assignment at Ted Bates in 1977: Playtex and being playfully sexy.

It took me almost two years to get my first job as a copywriter — and I started in what were really the last throes of the Mad Men days. There was a recession at the time, and after I finished classes at SVA in putting together a portfolio, I sent cover letters with photocopies of 3 of my ad samples to over 200 creative directors at agencies around NYC. Remember, I was typing each of those letters individually — and because I had researched the accounts they were responsible for, I did my best to make each pitch for an interview relevant to their business.  

Eventually I was hired at Ted Bates — one of the megalithic firms of the day. I worked at 1515 Broadway, when Times Square was at its seediest. And my first day on the job, I was given this assignment:   Playtex, which was known for its “cross your heart” bra, which “lifts and separates” was going to introduce a girdle that was meant to have a similar effect on the butt. They wanted to name this new product — and they were willing to be somewhat racy.  

I thought to myself, they’re paying me for this! And I went to work, with a yellow pad and pen jotting down names. My creative director was happy with my suggestions. But of course, the client didn’t choose any of them — and in fact, they went the conservative route with the name, despite their original request.  

I kept the list. And so here, 32 years later are just a few of the silly things I wrote down that I was paid a salary for:  

• Honey Buns
  
• Radical Cheek
  
• Fanny Pants
  
• Rear View
  
• Hot Seat
• Bunny Hot
  
• Tush Tush
  
• Lush Tush
• Bun Huggers
  

Today, it’s a different business. But when done right, it should still inspire laughter. I’m not a junior copywriter anymore. And while I’m freelancing after 17 years as a Creative Director, I’m grateful for this hilarious career that has enabled me to sharpen my strategic thinking, and get paid for making things up.

Is getting the New York Times the best part of your weekend?

This guy is really cute. Nice voice. Great smile. And then some copywriter (and client) let him say:
"Getting the Times delivered for me, well that's really the best part of the weekend."

I don't believe it for a minute. And if it were true, it would be a very sad statement indeed. In which case, he's invited to come over to my place. I get it delivered too. And like the idiotic couple arguing at the start of the spot, we can say "I think it was the Sunday Style Section that brought us together."

I have had to endure the spot on NY1 every day for for what seems like an eternity. Of course, I am sure the Times management knows how awful the spot is. I can only assume, given my background in direct marketing, that the only reason it continues to run is that it works. Unless the real reason is that the Times is having such financial trouble, they can't afford to create a new spot.

I am a proud reader of the New York Times. I like knowing how to fold it so it can be read on a crowded subway. I like the vast sweep of its subject matter — or to quote the spot: "The depth and breadth of reporting, the insight." It hurts to see them close bureaus around the world.

I subscribe. I do. And I want to see them survive. I just want to see better advertising — not merely DRTV, but a real strategy to bring in income. I have to admit, for the only time in my life — and publicly mind you — I am going to admit being in agreement with Rupert Murdoch. He is right to pull content. "Information wants to be free" is bullshit. Information doesn't want anything. People want something of value without paying for it. And if we lose the press, what's left of our tattered democracy will pay for it.

And so another example of my meandering monkey mind — from a cute guy in a TV spot whose weekend I'd like to improve to a meditation on the media, capitalism, democracy and technology.

Sunday Morning Cartoon: Happily Ever After - The Tale of a Boy Princess

Now this would be an interesting proposition for the rewrite of Shrek — maybe there can be a film about Shrek's queer son. Or not.

Keyword Fail: Amazon, Rick Warren & Americablog

As an advertising copywriter (and activist of a sort) I have watched my industry both energized and laid waste by the digital world. Media buys today are often made by computers without insight or context, as in the example below:

Yes, Amazon's space buying application (which may well be Google) is putting up books by Rick Warren, the sanctimoniously hypocritical homophobe, on AmericanBlog, the left wing progressive and proudly queer blog where Warren is attacked and unmasked regularly for his velvet gloved hate. Even more ironic is the placement next to a story about the anti-gay legislation in Uganda that had its origin in the nexis of church and state fascism on the American right. 

Of course, Amazon has demonstrated on ongoing tone deafness with the lgbt community. So I say, click away bunkies and get some income for the dashingly handsome John Aravosis. Just don't spend and money.