How many queer folk who follow the Tibetan Buddhist way would still be on that path if they knew that the Dalai Lama said in an interview that he “rejects” the idea of homosexual love and that gay or lesbian sex is sexual misconduct. Further, in a recent response to questions about this, a representative of the DL essentially compared the acceptance of homosexuals to the toleration of thieves.
Of course, his position from a human rights point of view is that queer folk should not be discriminated against in civil law. But along with masturbation or sex at night for anyone, gay sex is sexual misconduct from the Tibetan Buddhist POV. How does the celibate DL (doesn’t stand for Down Low) come to this understanding? By consulting a Tibetan treatise by another celibate monk from the 15th Century. A monk who also said that it is okay to pay for a prostitute yourself, but not to have sex with a prostitute that someone else has paid for.
Is your head spinning yet? In a recent issue of Buddhadharma, José Cabézon wrote about Western Buddhists (read Tibetan Buddhists in this specific case but it is generally true for all sects) have a simplistic understanding of a tradition they have signed on to, specifically around the issue of sexual expression.
One of the many reasons I walked away from Judaism when I was 13 (the day after the Bar Mitzvah) was that I knew I was gay, and I didn’t care for a religion that called my expression of love an abomination. And like many Jews, I eventually found myself in the Buddhist world.
I didn’t go for Zen practice, since I was living in Japan and the S&M inherent in the way the sensei would strike practitioners with a rod just didn’t sit well with me. And I didn’t go with the Tibetans, because the whole thing just looked to me like a medieval theocratic state without a country. And if I wanted that, I could have become an Orthodox Jew.
Of course, many queer people turn to Buddhism because there is the perception in the West that it’s a religion where anything goes sexually. Or at least where much is tolerated. Nothing could be further from the truth. But then, the word Buddhism is like the word Christianity — it covers a lot of territory, since there are so many sects in Japan alone that it can be dizzying to try and figure out what the reality it. Though certainly, what most varieties of Buddhists can agree on are the four truths taught by the Buddha:
2. Attachment is the origin of suffering
3. The end of suffering is attainable
4. There is a path to the end of suffering
I ended up in the world of Theravada Buddhism, considered by scholars to be the closest to what the Buddha taught, though of course, like Christianity, over the centuries, and across cultures, lots of stuff happens to the original message. What is certain is that there were very clear injunctions about sex between monks from the very start.
After that, well, depends what tradition you’re talking about. In Japan, the custom was for older monks to have sex with younger acolytes. At least until Admiral Perry showed up. Of course, in Japan, monasteries also had standing armies and often went to war with each other. Not very Buddhist on either account I would say.
But lets stay with the Tibetans. Perhaps people believe the DL is cool with gay sex because Trungpa Rinpoche’s Shambhala organization has pretty much always been okay with it. Of course, the Shambhala organization also has had a history of extraordinary loose sexual boundaries that raise questions of ethics no matter what religion or path you follow (well, unless you’re a follower of Aleister Crowley).
Like the Jews, the Tibetans have a long scholastic tradition of commentaries that they refer to for guidance. Yes, the Tibetans are Talmudic. And one of the scholars whose authority the DL accepts on the subject of sexual misconduct is that of a 15th Century monk named Tsongkhapa. And according to this dead brown man, among the ways of determining sexual misconduct is the use of inappropriate body parts.
What body parts does he mean? What could possibly be inappropriate?
“The mouth, the anus, the calves or thighs pressed together, and the hand in motion,” according the Tsongkhapa’s book The Great Treatise on the Stages of The Path. So if you’re a follower of the Tibetan’s these are the rules you’ve signed on for.
And if you accept Tibetan Buddhism then you also believe that if you’re having this kind of sex you’re going to end up in a hell realm.
Paging Pope Benedict!
Of course, the vast majority of Western Buddhists don’t believe any of this. Like many mainstream Jews and Christians they take a pick and choose attitude to their spirituality. The problem is that many Western Buddhists are unaware of these beliefs on the part of their spiritual teachers.
But unlike the priests of the Catholic church who are (supposedly) divorced from any sexual expression (and reality), the Tibetans are not being repeatedly challenged by activists. Not that questions haven’t arisen. But from the response the DL gave in his recent Canadian interview, not much movement (or enlightenment) has occurred.
But gay activists aren’t protesting outside appearances by the DL, and some of the reason is that you don’t see Tibetan Buddhists lining up politically against gay marriage anywhere, unlike Catholics, Mormons and Haredi Jews. So they aren’t on the radar of political activists who are concerned only with civil rights.
But that doesn’t make the Tibetan position any less problematic. Because telling a gay man or lesbian they are going to hell because of the way they express their love is doing spiritual violence.
And what is interesting about Buddhism among other things, is that an action isn’t judged by the outcome or the form, but by the intentionality. Anyone experiencing lust of any kind is experiencing the suffering of attachment. Gay, straight, whatever.
Anyone having angry sex is both experiencing and creating suffering. For a Buddhist monk, any sex is attachment. For a lay person though, well, getting laid isn’t out of the question. It’s just a question of how sexual misconduct is defined by the tradition. And if the intention in expressing love physically is loving and open hearted, well, this then is the issue….
Like Judaism, the Tibetan tradition can evolve with scholars debating and discussing and coming to some decision. They just don’t. Today even Conservative Jews not only accept gay congregants, they even ordain gay and lesbian rabbis.
A few years ago, the Dalai Lama met with a number of rabbis from across the spectrum to ask the secret of Jewish survival for 2000 years after the loss of the national homeland. With the destruction of ancient Israel, the Temple cult (and animal sacrifice) ended. And Judaism had to change and evolve. It went from being a state religion in a theocracy to a more diffuse and democratic structure that continues to evolve across cultures and time while affirming its connection to tradition. Perhaps it’s time for the Tibetans to ask the Jews for help again. And perhaps the queer Western followers need to be a little more Western in their push to wake up the Vatican. Oh, sorry, I meant the Kuger Yigtsang.
How will Tibetan Buddhism rise to meet the challenge of having lost the Potala and Tibet? This question will be answered in many ways. But perhaps one test will be to see how it responds Western queer Buddhists in the ranks who are challenging a tradition that’s about as relevant as using the ashes of a red heifer for purification rituals.
As another queer jubu and a lay person I have to agree with your statement about intentionality. My teacher many years ago told me that; he said that sexual misconduct happened when one of the two behaved in a way that was not welcomed by the other person, not that two men or two women automatically commit sexual misdeeds together, but that loving, respectful, open hearted sex was not a bad thing. I think there is a general misconception in the Western world that the DL runs the entire Buddhist world; when I hear people talk about him as though he were the Pope, I try to clarify their understanding gently.
Posted by: Piet | August 07, 2009 at 10:39 PM