Ah Purim. It’s developed, at least in the U.S. into Jewish Mardi Gras: a wild holiday of costumes and drinking to excess. And of course, the telling of the great folk tale of Esther and the King of Persia.
So what is it about drinking so much that you can’t tell the difference between Haman’s curse and Mordechai’s blessing? It reminds me of the custom in Japan at Bonenkai parties — year end celebrations where office workers go out together and drink even more than they do during the year — and where they are given free reign to speak any of their pent up frustrations and hostilities. It is the one day of the year where it is permitted to drop the mask. The next day all is forgotten and forgiven. At least that’s the stated custom in Japan.
At Purim, the alcoholic haze also frees people from their inhibitions. But wearing a mask can also free someone who believes they aren’t recognized — here we aren’t dropping a mask and telling the truth, but wearing a mask to do so.
But if this is the day we are allowed to lose a certain measure of control, the story of Esther tells us what happens when the one man who is supposed to be in control, the king, isn’t in control of his own appetites.
King Ahasuerus was ruled by his lust. And when his wife Vashti refused to obey his desire to display her beauty to his attendants, he divorced her. He chose his next wife, Esther entirely based on her looks. Here the king is ruled by his eyes. This is a king who isn’t in control of himself — what does this mean for his kingdom? (You might be tempted to think this question relates to recent political events in NYC, but one can look at leaders in every time and place and see this very failing — leading back to the same question about control of others and self control)
Kabbalistically speaking, the sefira of Malchut, means both kingship and sovereignty. And this conjunction of meaning is important, because sovereignty means not only a ruler, but a kind of independence that comes with knowing how to rule oneself. King Ahasuerus didn’t have that. And both the Jews and the Buddhists agree on that the ability to rule one’s self is required to rule others.
In the Pirke Avot it is written:
Ben Zoma said…
Who is a strong leader?
One who conquers his passions and emotions
In the Dhammapada it is written:
Though thousand times a thousand
in battle one may conquer,
yet should one conquer just oneself
one is the greatest conqueror.
How can we best know ourselves? There are some who say in vino veritas. But using alcohol as an excuse to speak what you’re afraid of saying to others is cowardice. However if in letting down your inhibitions you discover you’ve got just as much lust in your heart (to use a phrase from President Carter) as King Ahasuerus, then you have learned something about yourself. You have to know your passions and emotions if you’re going to deal with them. That doesn’t mean acting them out, which alcohol can lead to.
Please don’t get the idea that I’m against alcohol. I am against its abuse. People used the same argument for using LSD — it was a tool of self-exploration. And for some it was. But it’s a dangerous tool that did damage to many.
The injunction to drink so much that we don’t know the difference between Haman’s curse and Mordechai’s blessing I take as the commandment to see that within me I carry both inclinations. I am no saint — but neither am I a devil. Both these men live in me. And when I can see both of them clearly, I can choose true action rather than blindly reacting to unconscious urges.
So put on your mask tonight. Down a glass of wine. Drop your guard. See what you’re hiding from others — and yourself. Will we take this knowledge to engage the shadow or believe that by putting the stopper back on the bottle the genie is under control?
Does lust rule you? If you live white-knuckling to keep yourself under control, do you need a night like Purim to let go? Can you rule yourself with compassion and not as a puritan? Can the shadow be unmasked so that its energy can be used in service of the Whole? These are my questions this Purim. What are yours?
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