The Royal Road Trip & My ebay Experience

The first chapter of Darren Wershler-Henry’s book The Iron Whim tells the story of a “performance art” (and I use that term with all the editorial comment that quotes around the phrase can confer) piece in which a writer dropped a Royal typewriter out of a car window as it sped through the desert at 90mph. The piece was called Royal Road Trip.

I feel as though I have been experiencing this same road trip while sitting right at home receiving packages from the USPS sent by ebay sellers.

Yes, I’ve bought typewriters at auction on ebay, and in fact for the most part it has been a positive experience. But then there’s that other part…

First there was the Blickensderfer 7 that came with the wooden case literally ripped apart and the carriage return lever cracked off. There was the Royal X, which came with the platen knob cracked into so many pieces. And yesterday an L.C. Smith Premier 2 arrived with the carriage completely ripped from the body of the machine, with twisted metal, screws, springs and ball bearings rattling in the box before I even opened it. Heartbreaking to see what was clearly a fine old machine severely damaged and certainly beyond my ability to repair it.

Now of course, I have emailed every seller before shipping, including the excellent packing instructions provided so thoughtfully by Mike Campbell on his website. But I am starting to be really angry that these old machines — most not so rare but still part of a rapidly diminishing mechanical legacy — are being destroyed by careless packing. And what must surely be a concerted effort on the part of the Post Office to take a hammer to any large box marked FRAGILE.

For those who might be wondering about the monetary questions around such purchases I can say that the seller of the Blickensderfer was quite upset by the damage and took care of everything needed in order to get me a speedy refund — a sad but positive experience. I don’t care about the Royal because it’s the machine I intend to take apart for practice in my rather insane desire to learn how to take apart a machine and put it back together -- madness given my rather non-mechanical nature. So here a cracked knob is just part of the deal, and I have no attachment to success. The Smith Premier arrived in its awful condition yesterday, and in communications with the seller, he says he has started the process to claim the insurance to get me a refund.

I would have dearly preferred to have the machines as advertised. But since that is no longer an option in this reality frame, I want the money back. I wonder how many people have similar experiences.