Today is the fourth day of the counting of the Omer. Netzach of Chesed.

One of the books I return to again and again during the time of the count is  , by Isabel Radow Kliegman. She has matched each card to its sefirotic equivalent and interpreted them in this way. I like to match up the “netzach” cards with the “chesed” cards, and so on, each day to think about the energies and meditative qualities of each day of the count.

With regard to the Seven of Wands, Kliegman writes: “this is the card that urges you to have the courage not only of your convictions but your ‘abnormalities.’” Paired with the Four of Wands, which can be seen as either a Sukkah or a Chuppah, it points back to some of what I wrote about yesterday. Having an open heart, but being willing to defend what needs defending (without being defensive about it). I see this as having the courage to fully express who you are in the world, knowing that there will be some who will attack you for it, and being ready for the attack without shutting down. As a gay man who seeks to live from the place of an open heart, and of course as an out gay man who thus must on a regular basis declare/announce his sexuality, this is a day in the count that has great meaning for me.

Please don’t make the mistake of thinking that I consider myself abnormal in the pejorative sense of the word because I am gay. It is the simple recognition that the default assumption of the majority culture is that everyone is heterosexual until otherwise informed.