Another Queer Jewish Buddhist

Some Light Reading for the Eighth Night of Hanukkah: Plutarch & the Pieseszner Rebbe

"The mind is not a vessel to be filled, but a fire to be ignited."

—Plutarch

"I am certain that after you spend a period of time engaged in constant work of this type, [mindfulness meditation] God will help you sense the rays of supernal light and divine holiness that have entered your soul, body and essence."

—Kalonymus Kalman Shapira, the Pieseszner Rebbe

You can download Shapira's guide to Jewish mindfulness meditation, as he taught it in Poland before being killed in the Holocaust.

May we all learn to burn with the fire of this, and not be consumed.

Some Light Reading for the Seventh Night of Hanukkah: The Zohar

Rabbi Yitzak said:
The light created by G!d in the act of Creation
flared from one end of the universe to the other
and was hidden away,
reserved for the righteous on the world that is coming,
as it is written —
Light is sown for the righteous (Psalm 97:11)
Then the worlds will be fragrant, and all will be one.
But until the world that is coming arrives,
it is stored and hidden away.
Rabbi Yehudah responded:
If the light were completely hidden,
the world would not exist for even a moment!
Rather, it is hidden and sown like a seed,
giving birth to seeds and fruit.
Thereby is the world sustained.
Every single day, a ray of that light shines into the world,
animating everything;
with that ray G!d feeds the world.
And everywhere Torah is studied at night,
one thread thin ray appears from that hidden light
and flows down upon those absorbed in her.
Since the first day, the light has never been fully revealed,
but is vital to the world,
renewing each day the act of Creation.

Some Light-hearted Viewing for the Sixth Night of Hanukkah

Some Light Reading for the Fourth Night of Hanukkah

Remember always that you are just a visitor here, a traveller passing through. Your stay is but short and the moment of your departure unknown. None can live without toil and a craft that provides your needs is a blessing indeed. But if you toil without rest, fatigue and weariness will overtake you and you will be denied the joy that comes from labour´s end.

Speak quietly and kindly and be nor forward with either opinions or advice If you talk much this will make you deaf to what others say and you should know that there are few so wise that they can not learn from others Be near when help is needed but far when praise and thanks are being offered.

Take small account of might , wealth and fame, for they soon pass and are forgotten. Instead nurture love within you and strive to be a friend to all. Truly compassion is a balm for many wounds.

Treasure silence when you find it and while being mindful of your duties set time aside to be alone with yourself. Cast off pretence and self-deception and see yourself as you really are.

Despite all appearance no one is really evil. They are led astray by ignorance. If you ponder this truth always you will offer more light rather than blame and condemnation. You, no less than all beings, have Buddha Nature within. your essential mind is pure. Therefore when defilement causes you to stumble and fall, let not remorse nor dark fore-Bonding cast you down. Be of good cheer and with this understanding, summon strength and walk on. Faith is like a lamp and wisdom it is that makes the flame burn bright. Carry this lamp always and in good time the darkness will yield and you will abide in light.

Written by the venerable (and rather witty) Shravasti Dhammika as a sort of Buddhist response to that odd bit of writing that turned up in the '60s: Desiderata.

Some Light Reading for the Second Night of Hanukkah: Rabbi Arthur Waskow on Same-Gender Marriage, Prop 8 and the Inauguration

One of our Living International Treasures is Rabbi Arthur Waskow, a progressive who speaks out regularly and does more than speak — he takes action to repair the world. Today he posted to the Shalom Center's blog an entry on the subject of Rick Warren's invitation. As always, Rabbi Waskow spreads light where so many of us see heat:

I am deeply disappointed by the decision of President-elect Obama to have Rev. Rick Warren invoke God at the Inauguration on January 20. To give Reverend Warren this honorific, symbolic role is precisely to honor his opinions and his leadership. Mr. Obama has defended his decision by saying that he hopes for an America where it is possible to disagree without being disagreeable. A praiseworthy goal -- - but not choosing to invite someone to invoke God at the Inauguration is not being disagreeable. Civil dialogue could continue without giving Rev. Warren this honorific role, one that is bound to affect public opinion.

Someone who uses the power of the state to deprive people of their right to the religious celebration and legal protection of their loving relationship is a bully -- no matter whether he smiles and smiles, he's still a bully.

The White House, Theodore Roosevelt once said, is a "bully pulpit." Noon on Inauguration Day is that pulpit at its peak. TR did not mean the White House should become a "bully's pulpit."

Whom could Obama have invited instead?

I do think it was a good idea to reach out to evangelicals, but there was a far better possible person -- better religiously, symbolically, politically.

Reverend Richard Cizik, who for 28 years has been vice-president and chief lobbyist of the National Association of Evangelicals, recently did an act that Jews called tshuvah. Literally, that means "turning" one's self toward the God Who is always evolving. That is the most profoundly religious act a person can undertake, and it often means losing prestige and power.

Cizik has put himself on the line for years, insisting that a true evangelical Christian must take action to heal God's creation from the wounds humans are inflicting on it -- especially from the global climate disaster looming before us. It was not a popular opinion among the institutional evangelical leadership, because they saw it as distracting from the sexuality issues - abortion, same-sex rights, etc. But more and more young evangelicals agreed.

Then a few weeks ago Cizik was being interviewed by NPR's Terry Gross:

Gross: "But now as you identify more with younger voters, would you say you have changed on gay marriage?"

Cizik: "I'm shifting, I have to admit. In other words, I would willingly say that I believe in civil unions. I don't officially support redefining marriage from its traditional definition, I don't think."

For this he was forced to resign.

Honoring people who despite institutional pressure move toward God's justice, God's compassion, God's shalom -- now that's an act of religious celebration. Might inviting Cizik have been seen as an act of confrontation? Yes, but not a confrontation with evangelical Christians --- since that's who Cizik is. Rather a confrontation with rigid bullies at the top of some evangelical institutions. A gift of hope and fresh air for evangelicals, young and old, who have begun to Wrestle. And a gift of fresh air to Americans at large, who might have remembered that invoking God does not mean bowing down to stodginess.

Obama has --- and rightly --- celebrated the confluence of his Inauguration with the birthday of Martin Luther King. Does he remember that before Dr. King became a saint he was a troublemaker? Rejected by many leaders of official Christianity, especially when he opposed the Vietnam War?

Obama should have asked Rev. Cizik to invoke the God we all need --- the God who Wrestles with us and asks us to Wrestle, all night and every morning, with our beliefs about the universe.

That would have put the issue where it belongs - in serious public dialogue and debate.

Some Light Reading For the First Night of Hanukkah: My first Jewish-Japanese-Christmas-Hanukkah-OshogatsuTree

There are 250 million people in Japan and only 2% of them are Christian. But it seems as though all 250 million Japanese celebrate Christmas. Tokyo is filled with Santas, candy canes, and Christmas cakes.

The first December I spent in Tokyo, my Japanese boyfriend Hiroshi asked if I was going to have a Christmas tree. I explained that Jews (even Jewish Buddhists like me) didn’t have Christmas trees, and that we don’t celebrate Christmas. He was quite shocked. He knew I was Jewish, and in fact he was fascinated by this since he’d never met any Jews before. He had an idea from something he’d read that Jewish mothers and Japanese mothers were the same. He just assumed that Christmas was something all Westerners celebrated. Of course his understanding of Judaism was as limited as my understanding of Shinto. Not to mention my confusion at the fact that every Japanese considers themselves both Buddhist and Shinto — and that they see no contradiction. Not that a Jewish Buddhist like me can complain about that.

Anyway, Hiroshi thought all Americans celebrated Christmas, and now that he had an American boyfriend, he really wanted a tree, despite the fact that neither of us was Christian.

The Japanese do have year end custom that seemed similar — on New Years Day, the Japanese put pine branches, plum branches and bamboo saplings together just outside the entrance to the house, to welcome good luck into the house for the new year.

He felt that if we put Christmas and Japanese New Years together in a tree, it would be a yearly ritual for our relationship. The idea of a Christmas tree just didn’t seem right to me, but I wanted him to be happy.

So I called my friend Andrew Ramer back in the U.S. and told him my dilemma. And he told me what Rabbi Miriam Da Silva had to say on the subject....

It seems that a young couple had gone to Rabbi Da Silva for counseling. Their daughter wanted a Christmas Tree. Now their daughter was a Jewish day school student, who took her heritage seriously. But for some reason the child insisted they have a tree.

The rabbi listened and thought about Purim, whose heroes, Mordechai and Esther are clearly taken from the Mesopotamian Pagan gods Marduk and Ishtar. And she thought about the quintessentially Jewish ceremony, the Passover Seder, which was modeled on an ancient Greeks ritual, the Symposium — which is a banquet centered around a topic of discussion. Not that the Maccabees, intolerantly murderous fundamentalist fanatics that they were, would want to know this. But the Rabbi didn’t have an answer, so she asked the couple to wait while she sought guidance on the matter.

And that night the Rabbi had a dream. In the dream, a fiery angel of god came to her and said,

“Miriam, Miriam. Remember when Moses saw a bush all aflame. This came at a dark time in history, when the Jews were slaves, just as the Solstice is the darkest time of year. The tree this child longs for is a symbol of that burning bush. Tell them that. Tell them that their tree will commemorate this sacred time — but that it must be grown for only this purpose. They may not cut down a tree in the woods. And it must be mulched or recycled at the end of the season. The tree must not be taller than the tallest person in the family. They may decorate it with colored lights, but no more than ten, to remind them of the tree of life and its sephirot. And they must not use tinsel, even if it is biodegradable. They must never wear shoes around the tree. And for the eight nights it is up, they must sit around it and read and discuss the passage from Exodus about Moses and the burning bush. Tell them if they do these things in just this way their tree will be kosher, a sacred reminder of the Presence of God in the world and in nature, which must be honored and preserved, for it is God’s holy creation. “

When the Rabbi awoke, she wrote down the words she remembered and told the parents of the girl. And she said that Jews unconsciously honor the sacred revelation of nature every time they plant a tree in Israel, At least that’s what my friend Andrew Ramer told me that Rabbi Da Silva said. It gave me permission.

Okay, I’m sure you know the song from A Chorus Line — What I Did for Love. I went out to the nearest florist and rather than buy pine branches, I bought a potted pine tree, one that could keep growing, so we could keep it on the terrace throughout the year.  We decorated so that it glinted with 10 gold foil wrapped chocolate Hanukkah coins. So, no, the foil wasn’t biodegradeable. At the top we put a gold star of David, which oddly enough also happens to be a Shinto symbol.

That first year, Hiroshi also put a little statue of the boddhisatva of wisdom, Fukurokuju, at the foot of the tree. He said it would be okay, because he looked like Moses — carrying a staff and a scroll.

It was a funny looking statue, a smiling old man with a, long white beard and a bald domed head that stretched up like a zucchini to emphasize his intelligence. It was only after I’d spend a few years in Japan that I learned in earlier times the statues were made in graduated sizes and used to initiate the boy acolytes of the Buddhist priests. Yes, it’s the sacred dildo you can see to the right!

That is my coming out story as a Queer neo-pagan Shinto Buddhist Jew with a Christmas-Hanukkah-Oshogatsu tree. I just hope there aren’t any Maccabbees reading this blog. The photo above of Hiroshi and me in front of one of our trees was taken after we moved to New York — around 1990 — and when the decorations had become even more, uhhh, eclectic.

Meanwhile, my wish for you, my dear readers, is that this Hanukkah and all year round your life is filled with light to share with those you love — and all beings. To quote the Buddhist teacher Ajahn Sumedho:

“Thousands of candles can be lit from a single candle, and the life of the candle will not be shortened. Happiness never decreases by being shared.”

Share your light.

Lost gay history: Harvey Milk and The Lost Tribe, Mark Shaiman and Masturbation

Two stories in the Jewish press recently captured a bit of gay history in the renewed interest in the life of Harvey Milk with the release of the eponymous film. And that is the story of "The Lost Tribe," a group of Jewish gay activists who worked to reach out to Jewish communities in California in the effort to defeat the Briggs initiative.

These activists knew the only way to win was to build bridges outside the gay community. And as Jews, they could speak in synagogues and JCCs to change minds and win support. This is the very strategy ESPA is using in NY state with Pride in the Pulpit. Clearly, recent results in California show that the so-called leaders of the lgbt community did not do this with the black community. The subtle (and sometimes not so subtle) racisim within the lgbt community probably rendered the thought of even reaching out in this way not even anywhere near consciousness.

No, we speak to ourselves. Thus Mark Shaiman's "Prop 8: The Musical" a feel good waste of money time and talent that only speaks to those who already believe and does absolutely nothing to build bridges or change minds. Or even raise money for those who do. It doesn't speak to African Americans. It doesn't speak to communities of faith. It's funny, sure. But it's really just a masturbatory waste that allows people to fantasize they are activists when they aren't.

If the gay movement does not actually start to live the meaning of the rainbow flag we so proudly claim as our own, what are we fighting for?

Marriage equality, the NYC Prop 8 Demo and channeling anger

Tonight the NYC queer community expressed its anger at the passage of Prop 8 in California with an old-fashioned street demonstration outside of the LDS church on Broadway and 65th Street. It was encouraging to see thousands of us to fight for marriage equality, even though it was for another state. How many of those that were out tonight have been part of the marriage equality fight in New York state? Certainly quite a few, since I recognized quite a number from the annual lobbying day in Albany. But many are not connected to any organized efforts. And there were some who chanted slogans that were anti-church.

Now, I am not exactly pro-church. I continue to be amazed that the one thing that brought together all the feuding religions to sit down in Jerusalem was their desire to issue a statement condeming queer people. It's enough to make a queer Jewish Buddhist into a militant atheist. Except that's actualy accepting their definition of queer folk — outside the spiritual. And quite frankly, I refuse to deny my connection to the Divine.

 Ours is a community that has been spiritually wounded by the religious establishment. And often, at demonstrations like these, where the religious establishment has truly done something heinous, the pain of this wounding comes out in expressions of hatred for religion and denial of our deepest longings for experiencing the Divine. The reason I seek loving relationships with men is that is where I experience the Divine Presence. I experience divinity and mystery in all my relations (to steal a phrase from Body Electric) whether they are physical or not, with men and women. But that highest connection has been in loving relationship with another man.

This evening I heard a lot of anger. And anger is appropriate. But I don't want my queer community to throw out the baby with the bath water by jettisoning spiritual connection while fighting organized bigotry and ignorance masquerading as religion.

Over at fivethirtyeight.com, Nate Silver has been debunking the analysis that it was the black  community that was responsible for the Prop 8 loss. His analysis of the voting patterns showed that it was a demographic I fall in, that is voters over 45, that made the difference.

But the point i really want to make here is the lesson that needs to be learned from the Obama campaign. The queer community in California created advertising that talked to people who were already on their side. Or just to themselves. They did not get shoe leather on the ground organizing in communities around the state. They did not work hard to engage people in the middle who could be swayed one way or the other. Sure, the LDS poured lots of money into the state. But churches are also communities that are highly organized. Where is our community organization? Our leaders are not deep in the community — and they sure dont' do much cross community organizing.

The very fact that we are even having this issue be fought so closely is something I never expected to see in my lifetime. I expected when I came out and joined the gay movement in 1970 that I would see a world where we felt safe, and were not objects of ridicule, disrespect or violence. That how we expressed our love would not be a violation of the law. I wasn't expecting to see legal recognition on the order of marriage. In fact, in 1970 there were many in the movement who wanted nothing to do with the institution they saw as obsolete.

I deeply believe marriage is important and makes communities stronger. And so I want it for my queer community. I believe deeply in the American value of freedom of religion. That means there will be religions out there that will never recognize my relationships as either valid or expressions of Divine love through human action. That's okay with me. I don't have to join that religion. And they don't have to marry me to anyone.

The mixture of marriage rites and marriage rights are some of the confusion that makes this a problem in the pubiic arena. But we are not engaging the people of faith who would be on our side. I am thrilled that the Empire State Pride Agenda has a program called Pride in the Pulpit, which engages communities of faith and leaders of those communities so that they actually are a large part of the efforts in Albany to extend marriage rights. I would have liked to have seen those people at the demonstration tonight. I chose to wear a star of David and a kippah at the demonstration be be out as a person of faith, because I felt it was important not only to be queer identified, but identified with Divine love. Which transcends religion.

May we open up to the pain of our spiritual wounding and use it to reconnect. May we use this reconnection to reach out to those who would hear us and support us if we learned to listen to them and truly hear their concerns. And I know we will prevail in our cause, because ultimately, nothing can withstand the power of love. 

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One of the nice things about the demonstration was I got to hang out with friends. I ran into people from GLYNY Again, the alumni organization of Gay & Lesbian Youth of New York (in photo below). I ran into friends from synagogue. From the Center. From my old schools. Work. It was quite a lot of fun in that way.

And as I left I saw the line of police cars that we so often see even when there are no demonstrations. As though they were there to intimidate the population. When Ann Northrup was instructing the marshalls on how to make sure there was no violence at the march, all I could think was, there are provocateurs in this crowd. There are secret police taking photos. And the line of police cars did not make me feel safer, they reminded me that the Bush years have been a growing police state, that used the terrorist attack of 2001 as an excuse to further strip us of our freedoms. I can only pray that the new president can reverse this trend, even though so much of this erosion is local.

Happy Birthday Ruth Messinger!

Ruth is one of my heroes — New York lost when we didn't elect her mayor. But the world won, since she went on the lead a truly great humanitarian organization, American Jewish World Service.

I remember the first time I saw her, handing out leaflets outside Zabar's, running for City Council from a very left 3rd party. Of course, she didn't win in that race. But soon she was inside the Democratic Party and raising hell when she did get on the Council from my nabe, jewish left central, the Upper West Side of Manhattan.

Ruth is 68 today. And I am sure the results of Tuesday's election was present enough for her. But best wishes from this old supporter and left handed/left headed queer Jewish Buddhist.

Image credit: Chrystie Sherman

Shehecheyanu: Giving thanks for being alive to see this moment

All blessings, and life, flow from One Source — a Source that is beyond time and space — and which has sustained us and brought us to this moment.

Yes, we did.
Yesterday was spent phonebanking for Obama with my friend John down at UFT headquarters near Wall Street.
We called voters in swing states. PA. FL. Then tonight we were off to Room Service in Chelsea where the local queer Dems were holding an election party to watch the tally as the polls closed.

It was a wild scene that began with some tension that lifted as the count clearly headed in our direction. When Christine Quinn took the stage after CNN called the race at 11pm, the crowd was screaming (including one man who vented his fury at Quinn for voting with the mayor on extending term limits). I left at 1am, after our new President spoke to the crowd in Chicago. I still don't know where we are in CA on Prop 8. But I do know this, while the road ahead in this country will still be hard, and while we are clearly still a country very divided, we have a leader who is clearly about healing division. Here at home. And abroad. And that is a real reason to say the Shehecheyanu prayer.