My first copywriting assignment at Ted Bates in 1977: Playtex and being playfully sexy.

It took me almost two years to get my first job as a copywriter — and I started in what were really the last throes of the Mad Men days. There was a recession at the time, and after I finished classes at SVA in putting together a portfolio, I sent cover letters with photocopies of 3 of my ad samples to over 200 creative directors at agencies around NYC. Remember, I was typing each of those letters individually — and because I had researched the accounts they were responsible for, I did my best to make each pitch for an interview relevant to their business.  

Eventually I was hired at Ted Bates — one of the megalithic firms of the day. I worked at 1515 Broadway, when Times Square was at its seediest. And my first day on the job, I was given this assignment:   Playtex, which was known for its “cross your heart” bra, which “lifts and separates” was going to introduce a girdle that was meant to have a similar effect on the butt. They wanted to name this new product — and they were willing to be somewhat racy.  

I thought to myself, they’re paying me for this! And I went to work, with a yellow pad and pen jotting down names. My creative director was happy with my suggestions. But of course, the client didn’t choose any of them — and in fact, they went the conservative route with the name, despite their original request.  

I kept the list. And so here, 32 years later are just a few of the silly things I wrote down that I was paid a salary for:  

• Honey Buns
  
• Radical Cheek
  
• Fanny Pants
  
• Rear View
  
• Hot Seat
• Bunny Hot
  
• Tush Tush
  
• Lush Tush
• Bun Huggers
  

Today, it’s a different business. But when done right, it should still inspire laughter. I’m not a junior copywriter anymore. And while I’m freelancing after 17 years as a Creative Director, I’m grateful for this hilarious career that has enabled me to sharpen my strategic thinking, and get paid for making things up.