Yes, for those of you who follow this blog, you might be interested to know there is a blog out there written by a gay student at YU about his experiences being out, frum and at an orthodox institution.
What I love about the title of his blog (apart from the fact that there's an echo in the names) is that it makes it clear he's not the only one. In fact, the use of the word "another" suggests he's just a garden variety gay frum jew. That actually, there are lots of them. And in truth, there are.
My great-uncle Alfred (may his memory be for a blessing) lived an orthodox life — and lived in Montreal's gay ghetto after he escaped from Auschwitz and made it across to safety in North America (now there's a story). He chose to live in Montreal rather than in NYC apart from the only family he had left because while he lived as a frum Jew, he also had relationships with men. And in that era there was no way he could be out to his remaining, surviving brother, my grandfather.
When I chose the title of this blog, it was with a kind of a wink — since there are those who think, like unicorns, people who identify themselves as queer jubus are rare if not mythical creatures. And while certainly it may seem that way to some, in the circles I run in, well, there seem to be a lot of us. We even have a few patron tzaddikim, starting with Allen Ginsberg, and running to a number of out gay men who are both jewish and serious practitioners and teachers of Buddhist meditation.
Ultimately though, it's all about crossing the boundary, and recognizing when I do so, that just as I kiss the mezuzah and remind myself of the V'ahavta prayer, that with the Shema, is a radical statement of the unity of the universe — that ultimately boundaries don't exist. From one kind of Jewish perspective it would be saying the Divine is everywhere and not separate from me and you and everything, so to put a mezuzah on the door is to remind myself that when outside or inside we are never separate. That when I leave my home and face people I don't know, I am seeing the face of the Divine manifested again and again. Or as the old joke goes: What did the Buddhist priest ask the hot dog seller? Make me one with everything.
It's one reason the subject matter of this blog is so hard to pin down. Makes it hard if I wanted to hit a large demographic and build a reader base that would enable me to live on advertising sales. I could say that it's a blog about Japanese Animation (one love of mine) and have a particular readership and ad base. Because there aren't enough queer jubus for advertisers to care about. I know. I'm also an advertising executive. Talk about boundary crossing.
Of course, for the frum, the boundary is the path. And it is indeed a path. Just not my path. There is both Gevurah and Chesed. (And of course, paradoxically, they are not separate from each other.) I take as my guide what Rebbe Nachman said about following halacha only as the vehicle. Like the parable of the monk who carries the boat on his back after he crosses the river, it has become an unnecessary burden.
As usual, I ramble.
Anyway, I truly wish the young man over at anotherfrumgayjew.com all the best on his journey. I wish him true conscious relationship with the Divine, conscious relationship with his community, and conscious relationship with a loving partner.
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