This is the week Moses loses it and punches out a wall in Parashat Hukkat. We’ve all been there. You get so angry you break something. And while you might just break a finger or two punching a wall, or leave some inanimate objects in pieces on the floor, it’s better than taking out your anger on another person. Except leaders are held to higher standard, even leaders of those whining Jews, who can be so annoying it can seem like Moses has the patience of a saint, except for the fact that there are no saints in this tradition.
Certainly Moses has learned to keep his anger in check. Last time he lost it, he killed and Egyptian and had to go on the lam. So just what happened this time? The people, as usual are complaining that they should have stayed in Egypt rather than die of thirst in the desert. And God says to Moses, speak to the rock and water will flow from it. But Moses, angry with the people says:
"Listen, you rebels, shall we get water for you out of this rock?" And Moses raised his hand and struck the rock twice with his rod. Out came copious water, and the community and their beasts drank.
Okay, so he hits the rock instead of speaks to it. And he lashes out at the Jews. For this God is so angry with him he doesn’t get to enter the promised land? Pretty severe. The rabbis spend a lot of time chewing this over, trying to rationalize such a hard punishment. They don’t like it. Would you?
Anger is one of the big emotions to work with in Buddhism. Some of my favorite passages in the sutras speak to the issue:
One should give up anger, renounce
pride, and overcome all fetters. Suffering never
befalls those who cling not to mind and body and
are detached.Those who check rising anger as a charioteer
checks a rolling chariot, those I call true charioteers;
others only hold the reins.
-Dhammapada, Chapter 17"Where is anger for one freed from anger,
Who is subdued and lives perfectly equanimous,
Who truly knowing is wholly freed,
Supremely tranquil and equipoised?
He who repays an angry man in kind
Is worse than the angry man;
Who does not repay anger in kind,
He alone wins the battle hard to win.
He promotes the weal of both,
His own, as well as of the other.
Knowing that the other man is angry,
He mindfully maintains his peace
And endures the anger of both,
His own, as well as of the other,
Even if the people ignorant of true wisdom
Consider him a fool thereby."
-Akosa Sutra
In the Jewish tradition, my favorite teaching on the subject is from Pirkei Avot, Chapter 4:
"Ben Zoma said, who is wise? He who learns from all people, as it is said: 'From all those who taught me I gained understanding' (Psalms 119:99). Who is strong? He who conquers his evil inclination, as it is said: 'Better is one slow to anger than a strong man, and one who rules over his spirit than a conqueror of a city.'” (Proverbs 16:32).
As I noted earlier, a leader is held to a higher standard. The analogy one teacher of mine liked is what happens when you hold your hand outside of a train window when it starts to pull out of a station — it isn’t going very fast, so you can slap your hand against a pole and it isn’t a disaster. But try that when you’re on the bullet train between Tokyo and Kyoto and you’ll lose your arm. The very nature of leadership is that one is moving at a higher speed of life, where a higher level of integrity is demanded. What might be a small slip personally can have greater ramifications when the whole community is involved. The quote from the Dhammapada alludes to this — when those horses are really galloping, you well better have your hands on the reins.
I may not like what happens to Moses as a result of this slip, I may feel it is unjust. But I do know that the greater the responsibility we take on, the more we are called on to be awake, vigilant over emotions and behaviors that could be dangerous to the community.
This is an interesting reading for gay pride weekend. Since after all, it was the rage of the patrons of the Stonewall that led to the uprising of queer energy into the birth of a modern LGBT movement. But this rage was the anger of the powerless, a taking back of power denied. These were people who were given no respect. The police could hit a drag queen with a billy club without even a second thought. And perhaps this is the connection. Rods and rocks. Billy clubs at Stonewall. Either way, if you lash out unconsciously (as one could say the police did, acting out their own homophobia with violence) that violence is only going to boomerang right back at you. I have the bruised knuckles and dented plaster to prove it.
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